Hope in Forgiveness

Apr 5, 2015 by

I’m writing this on Easter Sunday. A day of ultimate forgiveness.

Sunday’s used to be miserable for me. Chances were really good that I had spent the majority of my weekend in the smoke and lights of a casino. I had probably lost a lot of money. I was definitely hating myself and working on damage control.

Let me get more specific. I am at the Sea World Easter sunrise service. There was no casino. I haven’t done that for years. I feel good this morning. I’m going through some emotions but it’s nice. I enjoy being surrounded by people who find hope in the forgiveness of their beliefs. I am looking forward to hearing the service and listening to music by this year’s worship band Sanctus Real. I have my love by my side and I am happy.

I would not have been able to say that while gambling was my lover. I was continually miserable. It was an eternal roller coaster that usually ended up helping me hate myself.

I work on forgiveness for all of my losses from gambling. I could be living life more comfortably now if I had the money still. But I wouldn’t have my “education”. I wouldn’t be able to share that recovery is possible. I wouldn’t be able to show you what a life in recovery looks like. I’m not sure I would even have a story.

There is purpose in our journey.

Someday I have faith that I will be able to trust myself with money again. It gets better as I put effort into being trustworthy. I wasn’t before. I would spend every dime I had. 

Forgive, forgive, forgive. FORGIVE.

My hope for you is that you allow yourself to forgive yourself for your mistakes of the past, honor where you are and continue to learn and grow.

Be blessed.


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  1. Mary

    Love you Kim. Happy Easter! You are right! Forgive, forgive, forgive, not only ourselves but also those and perhaps the difficult situations that made us become such gamblers! I realize though that the “stopping” is never completely gained especially when you have health problems like I do at the moment. As casinos somehow “help” you at least for the day forget the other problems, but i have made a promise to myself to never begin again lke i used to and no longer have the money to do so anyway. Thanks for everything I’ll be writing to you soon Lots of love Mary

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