Reminders Are In the Chimes

Feb 20, 2014 by

I cringed as I pulled up to the Chick-fil-A.

I had been craving my cool wrap with avocado lime ranch and my half cut tea all day long.

All the cars in the lot wouldn’t have been a big deal if I hadn’t been hiding from life. Again.

I saw a ton of people inside. Crap. It must be kids night. What have I done wrong? Oh well, I’m here and I’m hungry. I’m working on honoring my body and not eating too late. I was pushing it already so I went in and ordered.

As I was waiting for my food my awareness was drawn to the back of my iPad (Lili). When I bought her for my business (you) I chose an inscription that would remind me to keep going.

Simply be who you are. Whole, perfect and ok.

If only I believed that.

I was just on a team call where my mentors were talking about shifting energy. Everything is energy and it’s up to me to take charge of it. My thoughts create my world.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know all that. I just haven’t been practicing upward movement.

My spirits have been incredibly low lately. I’ve been sick or tired, worn down or just beaten up. I question who I am, why I’m breathing and when I can be with my family again (they’ve all passed). I don’t write when I’m miserable because I want to work through it to to gain perspective so I can use it as a learning/teaching experience. But really, there comes a point when enough is enough.

I hadn’t gotten there yet.

So. Chick-fil-A. Turns out its fundraiser night. For a church. I am reminded that I have lost my spirituality. I realize that I have missed it. Maybe someday I will change that too. Anyway.

I settle at a table and continue reading Brandon Burchard’s book The Charge. What are three words that describe the way you would like to think of yourself in your personal life? Ugh. I have to think. I don’t want to think.

I guess it’s time to come back because I didn’t have to think about is one. Jane (my intuition) helped me out. It’s on Lili. I carry them with me every single day.

Whole. Perfect. Ok.

Fantastic (said sarcastically).

Then it happened. The church began playing music. They played these chime like instruments. It was nice for some background music while I fed my soul (reading). I got chills when they started playing a song my grandmother used to sing to me.

You know how when something touches you it can rock you to your core? I was rocked. Open the floodgates the tears are coming out. In Chick-fil-A. Not excited about that.

I took it as a sign that I’m not really alone and that in truth I have support all around me.

So. Apparently it’s time for another go.

Even when you stumble, just remember, you don’t have to stay on the ground. When you’re ready, get back up. And keep getting back up when you fall again.

I wrote this February 20, 2014. I thought I was ready to get back up. When I make a decision it seems like I usually get a test to see if I really mean it.

The next day proved I wasn’t ready and that I had so much more to learn.

Today is March 20, 2014. After a month of forgiveness, love and tenderness I finally feel like I’m healthy enough to pop my head out from under my healing rock. 

Take care my friends,

Kim

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2 Comments

  1. lois

    Never give up, Kim. You are loved more than you know.

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