Could This Happen To You?

Jul 23, 2013 by

Every now and then someone will contact me with a story behind their gambling addiction that they want to share on my blog. They aren’t in a place to have their screams be silent anymore.

Recently I received an email that really gave me chills. My heart sank because I understand that this can be the reality of our lives if we let our gambling take us too far down. My client showed me an example of the emotional destruction that gambling can cause. Truth be told, she isn’t different than any one of us. With her insistence, I am sharing her story to show you how the vicious cycle of problem gambling can feed into other dangerous cycles as well.

As always, to protect my client I have changed the names and she will remain anonymous.

 

I grew up around violent relationships and I couldn’t ever understand why the women stayed. From the outside I could see what was happening, but, as I grew older, I realized that I wasn’t taking all things into consideration.

David really swept me off my feet when we first met. He seemed to love me for who I really was and showed me tons of affection. He knew I liked to gamble and he encouraged that while he wined me and dined me. Looking back I realize that there was strain on the relationship from the very beginning, but I made all sorts of excuses for it. He only gets jealous because he loves me so much. He is controlling because he cares. He wouldn’t get so mad if I didn’t matter to him.

During this time my gambling was at an all time high. I had money to burn and I was going through it like crazy. The pressure from my relationship was weighing on me pretty heavily so I’d go to the casino to relax for a while. When I got home we’d get into a fight because I wasn’t behaving the way he wanted me to. He didn’t like it when I talked back. This made me want to escape even more. Eventually my gambling became too expensive for me to support on my own.

My boyfriend started paying my bills. That didn’t stop me from gambling. I’ve been so unhappy with my life that I was going to the casino more often. It helped me feel better. Unfortunately, it only works for an hour or so. I continually lose my money gambling. I always think I’m going to win. I think that I’m going to go into the casino and make more money so I can pay my bills and maybe even get a place of my own. Of course it never works out that way. I only end up losing and feeling more trapped and even more like an idiot than I did in the first place.

Then I have to face my boyfriend. He always gets so mad at me for gambling. He doesn’t understand why I go. He’s always been so careful with our money. He tells me how irresponsible and stupid I am. I tell myself the same things when I lose. When you hear that enough you start to believe it.

Somewhere in our relationship he started shoving me. I was pretty busy with my gambling addiction, so I’d keep forgetting it had even happened. Eventually the physical violence has escalated. It reminds me of my gambling. At first it wasn’t a big deal. It won’t happen again. He was sorry. He’s working on it. I have everything under control. Surely he doesn’t mean all the nasty things he says.

This last time, as his hand wrapped around my throat and he shoved my head into the wall, it finally knocked some sense into me. I heard the medicine falling out of the cabinet onto the sink from the impact. It felt surreal.

If I didn’t have my gambling addiction, would I still be with him? Would I be putting myself through this? I’m not sure which way to turn but I do know one thing:

I’ve had enough. I don’t want to be treated like this – from him AND myself. I don’t deserve this behavior. It’s gone too far. It’s time to find a way out.

So, here I am. Step by step I will work my way out of this mess. Please don’t let this happen to you. Thanks for listening.

 

That’s a powerful life experience, isn’t it? As gamblers I feel that our abusive cycles tend to be quite similar. When we get used to a familiar pain it seems like it is time to up the ante. I’m here to help you stop the pot from growing. You have suffered enough. It’s time to learn a new way of coping and dealing with life. Through the pages of my blog and my coaching I am able to show you different ways to live.

My goal is to Help Gamblers Live Better Lives. Thanks for being part of that journey.

Blessings,

Kim

 

P.S. Take a few minutes to look around the blog. You will find what you need to hear at this moment.

 

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2 Comments

  1. Wow. Incredibly powerful story. I had a sister in a similar relationship, and I too could never understand why she had ever stayed, but after talking with her, now I know. It’s never something that happens suddenly, it’s a gradual hill, and one day, you reach the bottom and realize that you had been going down the whole time.

    • Thanks Robert. Wouldn’t it be nice if you could see the decent as its happening? I don’t think anybody ever anticipates the bottom they fall to. I hope that your sister is on the way back up by now.

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