Fill Your Tank Before You Crash

Dec 14, 2011 by

Everybody in life experiences difficult situations they have to plug through. The way we choose to deal with them is what will determine the path our lives will take. Each moment can be a turning point.

As you may know, my mother passed away November 17, 2011. I had plans the following morning to get together with a group of work ladies to prowl IKEA. It was planned as part of my commitment to live a better life through connection to people.

For a brief moment I considered cancelling the trip. How could I go when I have just been completely devastated? Is that honoring her? What should I do?

Then I remembered that I need to fill my own tank, especially when I know that I will have a rough road ahead of me.

I did make a few slight changes. I asked my husband to drive me because I couldn’t think straight, let alone focus on the road. I asked him to hang around in case I needed to bail quickly. And I called him in when I needed help.

I am learning to ask for help when I need it instead of going to escape into a casino or game. I am learning to take care of myself so that I can be as strong as possible for the events that are on their way (funeral plans, memorial, etc.)

IKEA and my library ladies were the perfect medicine for me at the time. Throughout the week, and even still, I have held onto the laughter and love that I shared that morning with them. I allowed myself to be surrounded with healing relationships and I am proud of that.

I could have hung my head and hid in the closet, or escaped through other means. I chose to run toward life…to fill my tank. And I am grateful to be so blessed. My life is being lived¬†instead of survived. Gambling couldn’t take care of me that way. It only prolonged my pain. I thought it was a good friend at the time, but I am so much better off without being a slave to the depressing insanity.

My choice has been to grieve with help. My tank has been filled in so many ways…to all who have reached out your hands…I cherish you.

Thank you (typed with grateful tears in my eyes.)

 

P.S. To all who are still struggling: I hope you see this as a chance to see where you could be. Life isn’t easy, and feeling your way through it can be incredibly challenging, but the rewards far outweigh the pain. Truth.

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