Why Doesn’t One First Step Matter?

Mar 23, 2011 by

Yes, the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

Yes, you will stall if you don’t take more steps, i.e. the second, third, fourth, etc.

You must continually keep going and keep taking another first step.

I can’t tell you how many times people reach out to me that first time. Their gambling hurts. They are tired of it. They saw themselves in my story. They know I can help.

I have what they want. Sanity. Peace. Happiness. Freedom from problem gambling.

I write back. I ask them to tell me about themselves. I ask what they want to accomplish. I tell them that I am here for them. They are not alone.

And then they disappear.

Was it something I said? Probably not.

As an addict I’ve had a tendency to do that too. I’ve found that I reach points in life where I can’t take it anymore. I reach out for help. Someone shows me that they care.

And then it happens.

All of a sudden I get scared of change, but I feel better because I know I’m not alone. I can see that someone cares. I don’t want to bother them anymore with my problems. I don’t feel worthy of their time.

I crawl back into the safety of my misery and old habits. This time it feels different because I have been lifted up a little. It’s just enough to get my head back above the water.

Until the next time.

That first step only prolonged my misery!

If you want lasting change you have to keep on going. Keep pushing. Keep fighting for yourself.

The key?

You must know that your life is worth it.

You are worth the time. You deserve a good life.

Now, GO GET IT!

 

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2 Comments

  1. b

    “All of a sudden I get scared of change, but I feel better because I know I’m not alone. I can see that someone cares. I don’t want to bother them anymore with my problems. I don’t feel worthy of their time.

    I crawl back into the safety of my misery and old habits. This time it feels different because I have been lifted up a little. It’s just enough to get my head back above the water.”

    The fear is so overwhelmingly strong. The fear of failure. The fear of having everyone confirm my worthlessness. It’s easier to just be a hermit and not try. But your sentences above, it’s like you pulled them right out of my brain too. kinda creepy.

    • I truly hope you hear me saying that you’re not alone…and that your thoughts and fears are quite normal. The thought coming to my mind is actually a quote that I have learned to cherish:

      “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”
      — Anaïs Nin

      Bloom Dear One…the world needs you!

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