Feeling Helpless

Aug 8, 2010 by

Are you feeling Helpless?I have always hated to see people struggle, especially when I thought I had a solution that would surely help ease their pain.  As I work with more folks who have become caught in the gambling trap I realize just how helpless I am.  I can’t quit for them – they have to do it for themselves.  I remember that I had to want it for myself.  I had to choose to come back to the real world and deal with the issues that were waiting for me.  Other people around me could see how much trouble I was in, but I had to see it for myself.

Lately I have been asked, numerous times, about my final straw.  Usually when they are feeling stuck between a rock and a hard place gamblers turn to me for some gem of wisdom that is somehow going to help them feel better.  I tell them some of my story and I explain to them that it has to be a continual choice.

You’ve got to make the choice to get better every day.  It isn’t just a one time deal.  Strive for improvement as opposed to perfection (you probably have a tendency to beat yourself up and you don’t need another excuse for it).  Know that you are worthy.  Write your goodbye letter so you can read it when you forget how bad you feel right now.  You will forget how bad it feels.

I’ve even arrived at a point in my life where I comfortably recommend a great little book called “Numb No More” that will help them.  Yes, yes they’ve bought the book and they loved it.  Now what?

This is where the helplessness arrives.  You have to DO what I suggest.  I can’t do it for you.  I’ve told you what worked for me.  Feeling overwhelmed?  Just pick one thing and give it a go.  Focus on getting better, not what you’ve done wrong.  Take action and do something!

I’ve found that providing my coaching support has helped the healing process.  Since I tend to understand the feelings you might be going through it makes it easier to know that you aren’t alone.  My clients trust me because I’ve been there.  They know there is hope to get better.

And yet they give up on themselves.  They go back to gambling and then remember how much they hate losing and how terrible they feel.  The rush is only temporary and the more familiar pain of frustration sets in.  On top of that they’ve just lost a ton of cash.  They’re back to their old ways in an instant.

Then they think of me and email or call.  They know I get it and that I’m here to hold their hand while they get back on their feet again.  Eventually, when you’ve had enough pain, you will get back on track.

Are you experiencing something similar?  I’d love to hear your story and be here to support you in your journey.  Please feel free to leave a comment or, if you prefer more anonymity, drop me an email or text.  The bottom line is that it isn’t about my helpless feelings.  It’s about yours.  You matter to the world.  We need you.

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